Birthdays

Birthdays are fun - when you are young. Not so fun when you are older. I look back on the 'many' birthdays I have had. I can only remember having been given one birthday party. My friend Cindy planned it. It was a surprise party at a local pizza place where our families frequented. It was definitely a surprise. I will remember it always! It was my 40th birthday and the gifts and decorations all centered around hitting the big 4-0, Over-the-hill, black 'things'. It was a lot of fun and very funny. Thank you Cindy! Now, I need to tell you that I am big on birthdays. Life comes and goes too quickly and it is my belief that you need to celebrate all your milestones. There are far too few things in our lives to celebrate, so grab the ones you can and make the most of them. When my sweet Hubby turned 30 I gave him a three day surprise party - what a BLAST that was! It's funny because birthdays, as with all special days or holidays, mean very little if nothing to him. I am the opposite. I love to give birthday parties and have tried to make each birthday for our children a special day in some way.

My birthday, being very near and before Christmas, is generally given the back burner. If ... the big IF, I get a gift for my birthday, I quite frequently (nearly always) get no gift for Christmas. It is just the way it is, even with good intentions. There are always so many other people to spend money on. I seldom (almost never) actually receive a birthday gift. If I do, it is wrapped in Christmas wrapping. Over the years the gifts I have received most frequently have been from our children; a handmade colored picture or card, coupons with the promise of kisses and chores done, an item or trinket that they no longer want for themselves. I save them. I treasure them. Someday I will scan them into my computer and scrapbook them.

Gettin a year older, for me, is not the issue. I think, truly believe, you are as old as you feel. In my mind I feel about 45. It's a good number, a good age. It's maturity and intelligence, a feeling of being capable to handle all things that are thrown at you with integrity and confidence. You have survived all those terrible teen years, made it through those amazing and scary twenties, found your footing through the thirties, and come to terms with who you are after you hit 40. It was prior to perimenopause and a time when I still felt 'somewhat' sexy. I still wore my tall high heels and dressed with flair. I felt 'good' when I went somewhere. While every bit of that is gone now, I am 59 today, I still don't feel old, and that is something to celebrate.

My husband left for work this morning, like most mornings, and before he left he placed a birthday card on the counter for me to find when I got up to make coffee and begin my day. It's sentiment was short. He usually likes to find a card that says just what he wants to say, but in everyday life he never says. This card says: "A birthday promise... a lifetime of love for the love of my life." I think that is beautiful.

Thank You Father

Thank you Father, for this life you have given me. It has been difficult and I have stumbled, but I have also gained and made it through many troubles. Thank you for carrying me, for walking with me, for seeing me through. Not all who wander are lost. While I thought I was lost, you were there all along.

Thank you for my beautiful family. I love them, each and every one of them, more than words can express. Keep them safe from harm, spiritual, physical, mental, financial, and every way it would be possible, keep harm far away. As we experience our hard and difficult times it is too easy for us to give up, keep them from giving up. Father, let them know you are there with them. Guide them to that sure footedness, give them confidence and security, fill them with faith and with hope. Shower them with love. Father, we have no control over this life and over the lives of our loved ones, we must depend on you to place your angels around and keep them safe. I hold them up to you now, fully, and ask for your mercy and grace. Forgive all our sins and erase our unrighteousness. With you, Father, all things are possible and all days are new beginnings. I ask all that I ask in the Holy Name of Jesus. Thank you Father.

Life as we know it...

Life as we know it... seems to be based on what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think and feel - our senses. The truth is, life is more about that which cannot be seen. We assume we live in a physical, material world. We actually live in a world that is much more spiritual than we realize and than some are willing to admit. Our lives are spirit filled, some good, some bad.

We are made in the image of God. That doesn't mean to say your 'body' is the image of God, but your 'spirit' is the image of God. All of our lives, even if we aren't aware of it, are filled with an ongoing spiritual battle between good and evil. We have free-will so it is our responsibility to make the choices we will live with. God gave us the spirit of right and wrong when he made us, every newborn has this knowledge. It is evil's desire to pull you in their direction so road blocks and confrontations are always put in front of you. No one has an easy path. We all face tribulations and trials, heart ache and trouble. Every time you face these problems and turn away from evil, your spirit grows and the angels in heaven cheer.

God never said life would be easy. What He said was that He would walk us through it, He will always be here with us. He is the Light and the Way. He gave us a book with all the rules and stories, for us to use so we could know the truth. The Bible is a great self-help book and holds all the answers. He wants us to know what we will be facing and how to live a happy, prosperous life. A lot of people mock it who have never taken the time to read it. I believe the Bible is filled with God's spirit. It is that spirit which you cannot see but you can feel, in your heart, it is there. He knew we would need this information so He had this book written. The Book comes from God, not from man. It's the Spirit that wrote it. God is in control of all things.

Someday our spirits will not live here in this world. He has gone to make us a new home. In that new home you will not need your body, will not face these trials, and will know truth. We live now by how we each 'perceive' the world to be. But that is a lie and is not 'truth'. I believe this day will be here soon. I hope you are prepared. Ask Jesus to show you the way. He will.

Urgent Times: Oil and Greed in the World

I received a letter from CBN which I agree with. The letter is a call to prayer with a sense of grave urgency. You see, Russia's vicious dismemberment of the nation of Georgia is the beginning of an unfolding sequence of aggression. Presently, pipelines from Siberia that run through Russia supply the majority of natural gas and oil used by Western Europe and Ukraine. A pipeline from the Caspian Sea has been bringing one million barrels a day of non-Russian oil through Georgia to Turkey and the Mediterranean Sea. Russia wants to control all of those vital pipelines. Further, Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia, is near Baghdad, capital of Iraq. Russia helped Iran build its two aggressive nuclear facilities. Georgia and Iraq are sandwiched between the dictatorships of Russia and Iran. Vladimir Putin (Russian leader) appears to want to dominate the Caspian and the Persian Gulf oil and add it to Russia's enormous supply of oil and gas. If he succeeds, Russia will gain a stronghold over the economies of most of the world and can then act to bring America to its knees.

Iran is under the domination of a fanatical group of Shiite Muslim clerics. The president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is a fervent believer in the Mahdi, a mythical messiah who, according to his belief, will come to make the entire world Muslim, but only after a period of worldwide chaos and destruction during which all Jews will be killed. Despite warnings from the United Nations, Iran is on an accelerated course to build nuclear facilities and an atomic bomb. They recently test fired an improved intermediate-range ballistic missle, the Shahab-3, that is capable of carrying nuclear warheads to hit Israel, Iraq, and most of Europe. In 2008, the nation of Israel cannot ignore the ravings of a fanatic who soon will possess nuclear bombs with a will to use them. If Russia moves again to crush a neighbor or enter the Middle East, and if Iran develops an atomic bomb, time for talk will be over.

In Lebanon, on Israel's northern border, the radical group known as Hezbollah has, along with Iranian help, completely rearmed and now possesses as many as 40,000 rockets targeting Israel. To the south of Israel, in Gaza, another Iranian client, Hamas, is armed to the teeth and longing for an opportunity to strike Israel. Any Israeli strike against the nuclear facilities of Iran will trigger a counter blow from Iran and possibly Syria. These are not the only dangers. Russia could consider hostilities the excuse to enter the fight on trumped-up reasons in order to further its ultimate aim of controlling Middle East oil.

As the potential conflict spreads, oil terminals would be engulfed in smoke and flames. The Straight of Hormuz would be blocked, and with it 40 percent of the world's oil. The industries of the world would face severe energy shortages and the economies of both America and the European Union would face a devastating depression. What if the United States decided to oppose the Russian expansion? The Russians have enough long-range nuclear-tipped ballistic missiles aimed at the United States to annihilate all of our cities. Would the United States risk war with Russia over Middle East oil? Perhaps, but unlikely. If we act, it will be ugly. If we don't act, our economy could either be crippled or faced with continually escalating exactions demanded by Russia for oil.

About 2600 years ago, God gave the Prophet Ezekiel a description of an invasion of Israel after the Jews had been regathered to the Promised Land from all over the world in the 'latter days'. Ezekiel wrote of an invasion force led by Russia that would include Iran and 'Cush', which is Sudan. The other parties described by Ezekiel that constituted the invading force could include some of the Muslim nations in the former Soviet Caucasus region and possibly Turkey. According to Ezekiel 38:12, they would come seeking "plunder and loot". What greater plunder than the oil riches of the Perisan Gulf?

What is clear is that the Israeli strike against Iran will be the trigger. From then on, dramatic events will follow in quick succession. It will conclude when God has rained fire on the islands of the sea and on the invading force coming against Israel. According to Ezekiel, the "young lions of Tarshish" will be questioning the Russians about their aggression - questioning, but not acting to stop it. The term "young lions of Tarshish" refers to England and the United States. According to Ezekiel, when the Middle East trouble begins, the young lions of Tarshish warn Russia and Iran, but refuse to act. We will suffer grave economic damage, but will not engage in military action to stop the conflict. However, we may not be spared nuclear strikes against our coastal cities.

Prayer can change the course of history! The Bible says, "Seek righteousness, seek humility.... that you may be hid in the day of the Lord's wrath." The fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much. The believing prayers of tens of thousands of God's people can change the hearts of the leaders of Russia and Iran. God can cause situations to arise which will save Israel. He is Almighty. With God all things are possible! Please prepare your heart in earnest and pray.

Pray that God's mighty angels would surround and protect our nation in these perilous times. Pray for unity among the body of Christ as we intercede for our nation and our world. Pray that America's leadership will seek Godly wisdom as they face critical events in the weeks and months ahead. Pray for the Holy Spirit to sweep across the globe, preparing hearts to accept Jesus and enter God's Kingdom before tragic events unfold. Pray for God to change the hearts of leaders in Russia, Iran, and other nations who wish to harm Israel.

Pray for God to fill the hearts of all Americans and their leaders with the Holy Spirit in that America will be set on the right path and Americans will clean up their act and confess their sins. These are urgent times. Hopefully, our Lord will intervene and head off the disaster that seems to be approaching. Let us pray together.

Our Cat

Our cat has her own story, as many pets do. I don't know where hers began but I do know that it must have been very rough for a cat. She was two when we adopted her - but let me back up to that part of the story. Our family was devastated over the loss of our dog and for quite some time didn't want to get another animal. We waited a couple of years before we felt we were ready. We wanted a cat. My daughter had some specific ideas about what she wanted in a cat - it had to be a girl, had to be 2 years old, had to be soft as velvet, had to be grey, had to be "about this big' as she showed me with her hands. I just said okay, we'll see what we can find, but I figured she'd be happy with a cat anyway, no matter if it met all those specifics. Finding what she had her heart set on was going to be difficult even if possible.

The following Saturday we headed out to find our cat. I knew that sometimes the pet stores have adoptable pets on the weekends so we stopped at the first one we came to, just to check it out. It was a PetSmart, one we hadn't been in before. Walking in we saw no animals, usually there are several dogs and some cats in stacked cages. We asked at the counter and we were told they come only every other weekend and this was the off weekend. We milled around for awhile, looking at cat beds and toys and talking about our new addition to the family. We came across a wall of cages behind a big grated fence. Peering into it we saw that there was one animal in a cage in there - a cat all by itself. It was grey. It was the size we liked. The note on the front of the cage said it was a girl, 2 years old, and her name was Velvet! We knew we had to have this cat. What were we going to do, we couldn't leave her there. We talked at length about options and what we might try. We asked the guy at the counter again and we were told that they have nothing to do with the animals there, we'd have to take our chances and come back the next weekend. We just couldn't leave the store and not take 'our' cat. That was out of the question.

As we were standing around talking near the row of cages two women approached us. They set some flyers down and we saw that they were from the animal control. What a Godsend they were! Yes, it was not their day to be at the store but they had come in to just drop off some things. Yes, they would allow us to adopt this cat. We went through an interview process and filled out papers. We bought a cardboard cat carrier to place her in. We were told that she was not good with people and hated children as she had been very mistreated before she came to their shelter. No one had wanted to adopt her. Velvet did not like to be touched, to be taken out of the cage, to be placed in the box, to be carried in the carrier, or the ride home! Once we got her home she ran off to hide and wouldn't come out. We knew it would take some time for her to get used to us and we were determined that we had done the right thing and this cat would grow to love us. It was fate and it was in God's hands and He had brought us to her. That was obvious. She was everything on the list. We didn't keep the name Velvet and felt she needed a new start. My daughter named her Soiresse.

Little by little she would peek out from where she was hiding. We put her little food and water dishes near where she could get them if she waited until the house was dark and everyone was asleep. As the weeks went by we didn't see her much. We let her be and gave her whatever space she felt she wanted or needed. Time would tell and we were patient. She needed to heal from whatever trauma she had been through. We knew she was eating and using the cat box so all that was doing fine. There were days we would see her. If we approached she would run. One day I slowly crawled toward her, laying close to the floor and nudging myself carefully forward. I laid my head sideways on the floor and when she saw me do that she rolled over. Hmmmm, this was something new. I laid my head on the floor the other direction and she rolled over the other direction. We had made a breakthrough! For several days I played this game with her at least a couple of times. Every time she rolled over. She was getting used to me. I would lay on the floor with one arm stretched out and just lay there and she would slowly come close to my hand to sniff it and check me out. I never did try to pet her. That would have been going too far too soon.

As you might have guessed we grew to love each other. There was no overnight success. It took years and patience and love and understanding. She has been with us for seven years now. At this point I can pick her up but hold her only for a short moment and then she doesn't like it. If I am working on my computer or watching television she wants to sit on my lap and sleep. In the morning before I wake up she lays on top of me. She wants to be close when it is on her terms and she doesn't like to cuddle. If people come over she hides. She avoids people even if she knows them. I teach art classes in my home studio a few days a week. I have noticed lately that when I am having a class she will walk by the door and peek in. She has been brave enough only once or twice to actually enter, walk up to me for a quick pet and then exit.

She is our bundle of love. She has her own personality and is healing from her abused past. It is taking a long time. There are some traumas we never get over. I don't know what actually happened to her, I will never know. What I do know is that we will love her through it. People are like that too. We don't know what trials or troubles they have faced or are facing. We need to show patience, loving, caring, and give them their space and time to heal and to grow - with love. We need to love them through it.

David

I need to write about David. You see, David committed suicide. I've heard some people say that suicide is the unforgivable sin, God will punish him for that, it is taking a life, etc. I'm here to tell you that God is much bigger than that. God is fully aware that we are human, with limits, with needs to escape, with frailties. You can be sure that God understands fully and completely that David was ill and unable to cope with everyday situations and stresses.

As human as we are, we are unable to 'see' inside the hearts of people and know what they are thinking or feeling. We see only the outward part that they are willing to show us. Try as we might we are limited in our abilities. God doesn't have those limitations and He knows our hearts and minds. He is our Creator and He knows everything about us.

David was a wonderful young man. He was smart, capable, brilliant in fact. But he didn't have a handle on his emotions and struggled with trying to understand it and get some kind of control. Yes, he had some things happen in his life, just as we all do. With him those struggles were insurmountable. The 'things' he was going through were pretty much regular problems to most of us, things you just work through, keep on truckin' as they say. But to him they were not conquerable and he blamed himself and he couldn't stand that either. He wanted to be good and do what is right and he didn't have the ability to work through the problems. He became a victim of suicide. The more he thought about suicide the more he wanted it. Suicide is a desparate, misguided attempt to end unendurable pain at any cost. David had been carrying his pain since before the sixth grade. He believed he didn't have a choice or a hope. In most cases suicide victims have cancerous problems precisely because they are over-sensitive, wounded, too bruised to be touched, and too raw to have the normal resiliency needed to deal with life. It is the weakness of the illness. Suicide is an illness, not a sin.

For those of us left wondering why, thinking we should have said this or said that, could have done something differently - we need to know and accept the fact that we are not to blame and we should not unduly second-guess ourselves. Part of the anatomy of the disease is precisely the pathology of distancing oneself from one's loved ones so they cannot be present to the illness. To lose a loved one to death is painful, to lose a loved one to suicide is disorienting. In essence, suicide is emotional cancer, emotional stroke. It is impossible to digest. It is grave psychological disturbance. Sometimes it can't be cured. And God, more than anyone else, understands this. His understanding and compassion are much deeper than ours and His hands are infinitely gentler than our own. If we, in our imperfect love and limited understanding, have some grasp of this, shouldn't we be trusting that God, who is perfect love and understanding, is up to the task? God, who can descend into any hell we can create, goes straight through our locked doors, enters into the hell of our paranoia, illness, and fear, and gently breathes out peace.

David - we miss you and we love you. I know you are with Jesus and are cradled in His loving arms.

Hillary and God

The day God 'spoke' to me - I was in an emotional upheaval because our pet had just died. Hillary, our black Labrador, had been with us for 16 years. We got her as a new little pup and she became one of our 'kids'. She was one of those very special pets. At one time we had two black labs, Dara & Hillary, both females. As it turned out they both had pups at the same time. We built raised, and matching, dog beds in the back yard right next to the French doors so we could watch as they cared for their new litters. We had five 'other kids' so this was going to be a good learning experience as well as fun. Hillary was a great Momma, loving, coddling, caring. Dara, however, didn't care for the idea of being a Momma and took care of her pups only upon necessity, leaving the dog bed most of the time. Hillary didn't care for Dara's lack of motherly instincts. One day when Dara was again out of the bed and away at a distance, she went to Dara's bed and one by one she moved the pups in with her own. From that time forward she fed and cared for both litters. We knew then that she was a very special dog.

As the years went by, 16 of them, she was with us. Sometime around the 14th year of her life she developed cancer. The vet told us we could have chemo-therapy treatments, but she is lucky to have lived past 12 years already and might not survive the treatments. These treatments would be costly, the same as they are for people, so it would be something we would need to contemplate before making the decision. She was weak and looking frail. She had aged gracefully and had these adorable white hairs on her face now. You could look in her eyes and see her spirit. You could tell she was in a lot of pain. She was used to sleeping on the bed with our daughter, Courtney (they were the same age and had been together always). But now it was too much of a chore for her to try to get on or off the bed by herself, so we assisted her. In the morning when she needed to get down she'd stand overtop Courtney and stare directly into her sleeping face at a range of maybe 5 inches, and just stay like that, staring, until Courtney awoke and put her out. Courtney always got a kick out of that, waking up to this big black face, right there, breathing on you, waiting for you - so adorable.

Courtney promised her we would take her to the beach and let her run before she had to leave us. We couldn't imagine how she would be able to 'run' on the beach, but we all agreed it would be a good thing to do. The family gathered together and prayed over a small piece of cloth, annointed it with oil, and holding that cloth to Hillary we prayed for her. It was amazing, her transformation. She took a little nap and when she woke she was energetic, hungry, and full of spirit. We took her to the beach and she ran with us, played in the surf, and investigated every little thing she came across.

She seemed to be doing great for a few months, and then the lapse would come again and she'd be too weak to eat or play, couldn't get on or off the bed again, and had no interest in doing anything at all. We'd pray over her with the cloth again, asking God to take away her illness and her pain and let her be with us for a while longer. She'd perk right up and be her old self again for a few more months. God was right there with us, as He is always.

This continued for a couple of years. One evening Courtney sat beside Hillary on the floor in the living room. She held her and asked her if she wanted to go. She told her that we all knew she wasn't feeling good and that she had stayed with us so we could enjoy being with her longer, and because we, the human ones of us, couldn't let go. But if she was too tired to keep going, she could make the choice now, we were ready. She had given us more years than she should have been expected to and we loved it, but it was her time now to choose. It would be okay if she wanted to go. Courtney told her that she would sleep on the couch that night so Hillary wasn't tempted to try to get on the bed. She put Hillary's favorite blanket on the floor beside her. That night Hillary passed on. It was so emotionally difficult for us. Hillary was one of our family.

We planned a beautiful funeral for her. We chose a spot on the slight slant of a small incline on my brother's property. It was the spot where the sun first hits when it rises each morning. We made her a cross and on it we wrote our goodbyes and all the nicknames we called her. We wrapped her in her favorite blanket and she laid on my daughters lap in the car as we drove her to her burial spot. That was a very difficult time. We placed her in her grave, each of us giving a eulogy, and prayed over her. We all sang beautiful songs and placed rose petals and a few of her cherished toys in with her. We gave her a wonderful special goodbye because of the wonderful special life she had given us.

A day or so later it really hit me and I could not contain my sorrow. I took a shower thinking that would calm me down. I was wrong. I cried huge buckets of tears, gasping for breath, face swollen and tormented. I couldn't stop. I asked God 'why'. I asked Him why was it that we could receive such a special gift in this pet and they weren't to live longer than they do, how is it we are to say goodbye, why was it so hard, where do dogs go when they die, do they go to be with Him, I hadn't read that in the Bible, why does this have to hurt so much, and on and on and on, all the while torrents of tears. I was completely out of control with sorrow. Right at the moment when I thought I was going to faint because I couldn't breath and couldn't stop wailing, God's voice spoke to me loudly and booming. He said 'Be still and know that I am God. I am in control of all things". It stopped me in my tracks. My tears immediately disappeared and a calm came over me. I was awe struck. I was overwhelmed. I was surprised. I was happy. I was thankful. I don't know if I can accurately describe how I was at that moment, but I do know I will never, ever, forget it. I knew that Hillary, our baby girl, was going to be alright and is with our Lord and Father and all things are for good. All things are in His timing and He showed us His truth through our loving and being loved by our Hillary. We are truly blessed.

To Minister

What is ministry? What is to minister? It means several things - including: to give help and to attend to needs, to administer, being a cause, an instrument. Ministry is the act of serving. It is ministration. A minister is a servant, a preacher, an attendant and they all serve and carry out the spiritual functions of a church or religious gathering. I believe I have a ministerial calling and that I am to do that through my art. My art is drawing, painting, photography, theatre, teaching, and scrapbooking.

It is working with people from young to old to inspire them to listen to their heart, to 'see' how they 'feel', to express their visual, physical, and verbal creativity. I minister by being there, by listening carefully, watching intently, guiding tenderly, sharing enthusiastically, and devoting my time, abilities, experience, and my heart to those to whom I minister. I see opportunities to share Jesus. I share myself. Jesus presides within. Jesus is my heart. The Holy Spirit instructs and guides me - like butterfly kisses, softly, quietly, but you know He is there, watching over you, touching you, keeping you safe, and you can hear His whispers in your mind. Go with confidence He says. God is in control of all things. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Doing Art - the Why of it

Why do I do art? Why do I love art so much? It speaks to me. It touches the very core of my spirit. I cannot look around me and see all that is in this world and not see the 'art' in it. It's simply impossible. When I look at the sky I see the very blue that is, there are many different blues. I see the shapes in the clouds, the lace of the tree branches and leaves against the backdrop of the sky. I see the horizon, the broad distance and expanse, and I envision myself laying it all down on canvas or paper, or taking a photograph of it. I see people and I catch myself staring all the time. I seem to be pulled into a face sometimes and I touch every angle with my eyes, studying it, remembering it. Faces are so beautiful, the young all the way to the old, I love faces. I wonder how there can be so many faces and yet to draw them there is a set of 'rules' and 'guides' to conform to to capture those faces. I am drawn by flowers too and the magnificent beauty and individuality of them. I love how the sunlight dances on things through my window and I can't help but get up and place more objects in the sunlight, just so, this angle and that, capturing the light and the shadows. I am intrigued by reflections too and sometimes try to visually see them the opposite way, with the reflection the reality and the real object as the reflection.

I play with what I see and imagine with my eyes and my mind and it makes me happy. It feeds my soul and brightens my spirit and my mood and I can de-stress. It's like a visual massage without the cost. Perhaps that's also why I enjoy teaching art. I want everyone to enjoy it, to feel it, to grasp it, to be engulfed within it. I want everyone to de-stress and begin to enjoy. Part of it is the creative process, the mind searching or the mind freeing, whichever mode I am in at the moment. But part of it is just the freedom to do it because I want to.

I have included a scrap page I made of my grandson's artwork at age 5 and 6 and one of another grandson working on a painting. He spent some time with me during the summer so I gave him some art lessons and we worked on this painting. I think he did a beautiful job. Can't wait for the next one!

Life Changes

Life changes. There is nothing we can do about it - it changes. There is something we can do about how we feel about it. We might as well accept it. Accepting it doesn't mean we have to like it (although some changes are very like-able and can be downright pleasant). Accepting the fact that we know change is inevitable takes a lot of the stress out of it. That frees us up to then go forward and deal with that new change, that new adventure, new challenge - whether the change is a good one or a bad one.

The flower that blooms in adversity (change, strive, struggle, challenge, etc.) is the most rare and beautiful of all. God formed us, knit us together. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. God created us, God created life, God created change. We must go through changes in order to learn and by learning we grow, we mature, we become more accepting of others, we discover what life is and what love is. Every morning when I arise I think to myself "What will this day hold? What change or challenge will I face today? Whatever it is God will walk me through it."

The purple rose is one of my photographs. Purple represents God, the King, royalty. The rose represents tenderness, fragility, the natural course of new birth, growth and death. I hope you enjoy it.

The photo of myself was taken when I was elected to public office. The campaign, politics, speeches, and then serving the public upon my election was a big change for me and a huge challenge. It changed my life. I believe it is a place that God put me, for a time, for a purpose.

My Father

I wanted to do a post about my father, back when it was Father's Day, but I have been so very busy this past month. I wanted to add a scrap page or two about my father and I hadn't had the time to complete the pages until now.

My father was a very important person in my life. I think I always was a "Daddy's Girl". When I was young I would follow him around, sit as absolutely close to him as I could get, and dance with him while standing on the tops of his shoes. I liked to climb into the back of his T-shirt and hold on real tight while he tried to move around fast and dislodge me. As I got older I began helping him in the vegetable and flower gardens or work in the orchard. I so admired his ability to do anything and everything. As a teen he would pick my friends and me up from school and take us to the drive-in for sodas and fries. I ran track for awhile and he helped me train for that.

I have many wonderful memories of my Daddy. He is in Heaven now, with our Father. I miss him a lot. I often wonder what he'd be like if he were still here. I wonder if I said "I love you" enough, gave enough hugs, or squeezed his hand enough times. I can close my eyes and picture him just like he was: that loving, charming smile he gave so freely, those eyes that seemed to light up that handsome face, and that spark he had when he laughed. When I think about him my memory goes back to a time when I was a young teen and all giggles, rather than an adult with more serious issues. Daddy was happy then, at least by my perspective.

I was 25 when Momma went to Heaven. I was 34 when Daddy arrived there. That is quite simply too young to lose ones parents. We need them far into our adult lives, whether or not we are willing to admit it. Cherish your time with your parents. It ends far too quickly.

Values and Integrity

I am a mother of five and grandmother to twelve. I was raised by parents who had integrity and values. They instilled these in me and my siblings. I did my best to instill these same qualities in our children. We raise our sons and daughters and have high hopes that they will grow up and do well in life and we envision that they will marry wonderful, loving spouses and have darling, wonderful children who will grow up and do well in life and will marry wonderful, loving spouses and have darling, wonderful children who will grow up and do well...

Today's world has changed so much that I have a difficult time seeing any type of what I consider decent values presented by the general population. Every where I turn I see disrespect, casual sex, foul language as a norm, argumentative adults, gossip, alcholism and frequent drug use, promiscuity, domestic abuse, greed, slander, belittling and I could go on and on with the list. What happened to the qualities society used to have? I long for the 'old days' when such a thing as courtesy existed; when family ties were cherished, when respect was not only expected it was given. I sometimes wonder what the future family history will read. Where in the future will this family be led? What ties will be bound. What challenges will be faced, and how will they be handled?

I look back on our family history and those who have gone before us. I feel a certain happiness as I read about their lives and the contributions they made to family, as well as to their communities and to the world. I am pleased to be a part of that heritage. I look toward the future and what our children will face, the battles they will have to fight, what there is to choose from in the way of those wonderful spouses we would want for them. How will they handle the challenges put before them in today's world? Father God help them to face all these issues and battles with You as their security, their guide, and their salvation. In Jesus Holy Name. Amen

The Rain & the Rainbows

There are those times when we really think the rain is never going to end. There is so much gloom - outside, inside, within us, and around us. Even the air we breathe is heavy and labors us. Problems are heavy. Our shoulders are heavy and can't bear any more gloom. We are just too tired of it all. It would be nice to go to bed under a weight of warm covers and there hide until the sun comes out, which at this moment we believe, truly believe, that it can't happen. The blankets hold us, secure us, warm us, and provide shelter from the rain, from life, from having to think. Sleep over-comes us, and in that we can be happy. But REALITY is, that the sun does come out. It shines big in the sky, glorious and bright and new days begin every day. A new dawn is there for all of us. What we need to do is want it, invite it, accept it, and rejoice in it. There will always be challenges, and there will always be rain, but there are also beautiful rainbows and warmth from the sun. The earth, and all it's inhabitants, need all of this, the dirt, the rain, the rainbows, the sunshine. If there wasn't dirt, things couldn't grow. If we didn't have rain we couldn't thrive. If we didn't have sunshine we couldn't mature. If you have dirt in your life learn from it, let it feed you. Stand up in the rain and drink it in, let it wash you. Face the sunshine and grow, let it nurture you.

See the rain drop - it isn't really so big. Speak to the storm. See the ladybug - she is so small, but she keeps on keepin' on. She sits in the sunshine.

Be a light in the darkness

I am determined to be a light in the darkness. You and I both know there is a lot of darkness in the world. I am not able to heal the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the unclothed, stop the war, speak to presidents and rulers, or take care of a multitude of problems the world faces. One thing I can do - I can be a light in the darkness. I can smile in the face of adversity because I know it will get better. I can encourage where there is depression and discouragement. I can hug and hold a hand when there is despair. I can hold onto hope for the hopeless. I can show faith where there is no faith. I can say yes when someone comes my way and needs help that I can provide. I can give of myself, my energies, my time, and my love. I can be a comfort. I can be a great listener. I can be strong (not by my strength but by His), I can be gentle (let your gentleness be evident to all the Lord is near - Philippians 4:5). I can love deeply (Above all, love each other deeply -1 Peter 4:8). The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer; my God is my Rock, in whom I take refuge (Psalm 18:2).

I can do this because I have been in that darkness. I lived there for a long time. It is a very difficult place to get out of. Perservere, never give up, look to the light. It is the only way. Have faith. Keep your hope. Pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. You will not be given more than you can handle, and God will walk you through it. Seek Him always.

Mother

Being a mother is a lot like being the head of a corporation - making decisions, planning, dedication, foresight, discipline, strategy, organization, tending the flock. I could go on, but we all understand already what it takes to be a mother, at least all the mothers understand. It takes one to know one, right? I really miss my mother. She passed away when I was 25. I never really became an adult, I don't think anyway, until I was 25. It isn't until then that we actually begin to grow up. I lost my Mom right when I finally grew up and could have begun to have real honest conversations with her. Up to that point I pretty much didn't know how to communicate well or to identify with her. Sadly, I regret not having a tight beautiful loving and understanding relationship with my mother. I love her, I always have, but it was me who didn't know how to receive that, and now it is too late.

There were four of us kids, a managerie of pets, and my mom worked full time to help make ends meet. There wasn't time for much special close bonding. We were all so busy, homework, friends, tending pets, working in the vegetable garden and picking fruit in the orchard, riding the horse, adventures and play. There is always so much to do. I can say that I cannot ever remember being bored. It never dawned on me that I needed to say I love you more often, I needed to give hugs and smiles and cheerfulness. I didn't realize it and I didn't do it, and now I am sorry. Teenagers have their own world to live in. We all know that's the way it is. I was like that, struggling to find my way, trying to find a place I fit in and peers who liked me for me, and ideas to accomplish and goals to try to become. Like all teenagers, I saw my life in my way, and I didn't reach out to get any help in it, I plugged away at what I thought was the right things for me to do, and many of them weren't. I kept my mouth shut and I continued to plug away, to struggle, to become frustrated and angry, and to hate myself at times. There is no way that I would ever EVER want to live through my teen years again.

I am a mother. I try to always keep an open conversation with all of our children (5). There are no subjects we won't talk about. I want to be the best listener there ever was, always give encouragement, strive for integrity at all times, set the best example that I am able to, teach by doing and by being (to walk the walk). I strive to keep my temper no matter what, and speak with an even tone. I try to think about what I am going to say before I let it leave my mouth (that's a hard one). I love unconditionally and continually and let love shine. I hug, I kiss, I speak love at every opportunity. I will give my life for my kids. That is love.

I miss my mother very much. I want to tell her I love her. I want to yell it from the roof tops. MOM I LOVE YOU! Don't let another moment go by - tell your Mom you love her. Even if you haven't spoken to her in years, even if you are mad at her, no reason is important enough. Let go of that pain and that nagging stupid resentment and free yourself. Do it for you and for her. DO IT. Life is way too valuable for you to let this opportunity go by.

I placed three scrap-pages I made for my mother here, hope you enjoy and pray you are inspired.

A Garden

A garden is a delight to the eye and a solace for the soul. Yesterday one of my daughters came by for a long visit and brought my grandson. The day was beautiful and sunny without being too warm. We enjoyed many outdoor hours. She is a photographer and brought her camera. We took photos of everything in our path; close-ups of bird nests, bees on flowers, tree bark, the branches against the bright sky, playing with our dog, Quinn blowing dandelions, each other blowing dandelionse etc. We even took photos of each of us taking photos of each of us. We had an outdoor picnic, the first of many I'm sure, as we progress through spring and summer. We laughed a lot and truly enjoyed our day. The backyard and garden need a lot of tending as winter has passed and spring has sprung. It is nice to take photos of a landscaped and manicured garden, but there are times when I prefer to shoot the clutter, to capture the natural and untouched, to just let the pixels lay where they fall. I hope you enjoy this page I made with my beautiful butterfly photos from my 'organic' backyard.

National Day of Prayer

Today is the National Day of Prayer. In some ways this is my favorite day of the year, over all other days. It gives us a time to speak to God, to open our hearts to Him, to share our joys and our woes, a time to ask for His grace and mercy on our lives and on those in our family, in our community, our nation, and our world. I prayed today. First I prayed with a television ministry, John Hagee Today, a very powerful ministry where I go to continue to be fed God's word. I got on my knees and I raised my hands and I prayed and rejoiced.

Then I prayed at my desk. It is where I am most of every day, working away at all that I desire to do and to prosper, and I came to God right where I sat. I prayed for every member of my family and extended family. I prayed for many things for them. I prayed for Israel and the protection of that nation and it's people. I prayed for America and the healing of this nation, and forgiveness for all our sins, and for cleansing of America and Americans. We are still a land as One Nation Under God and we must remain as that. We must honor those who came to this country and made us a nation and all that they brought and purposed to this nation and intended for us to carry forward. In God We Trust and must continue to do if we are to be protected, to prosper, to be fed, and to be saved. I prayed my heart out to my Father and I hope you do too. God bless you and yours this day and every day. Today is an awesome day!

Grow Where God Plants You

I have taken a photo of a Dandelion. That pesky little yellow flowered, uh, 'flower-weed', that grows everywhere, that you can't get rid of, that blows little white 'fluffy' bits all over your yard, and there grows again. The true visual of "Grow where God plants you". My Grandson loves Dandelions, and always, ALWAYS, picks them and blows on them. I love to watch him as he gets such a kick out of it. Awww, I don't care if more grow. God gave them to us after all. He takes all things and makes them good. They are good in salads. They are good to add color in my yard. They are good for my Grandson to play with. And I got a very good photo of one. Actually I took several, and I liked them all. I am sharing one here today.

I first saw the words 'Grow where God plants you' on a little sign in someone's yard, while on a walk years ago. I never forgot it. It became my motto of sorts. Every time there was a change in my life, either planned or unplanned, I told myself those words. There have been many changes and not all of them did I want. But those words kept me going, kept me centered, kept my eyes on God and His plan. He has a plan for my life; He sees the big picture, He knows my future. In Him will I trust. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

When I was growing up people always said "Mary. Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?" I just started telling them my garden died and then they wouldn't ask me anymore. It was true, my garden pretty much always died. No matter what I did in my garden I couldn't make it grow full and vibrant. I certainly did not have a green thumb. But once I saw that little sign in that person's yard, my concept of my 'garden' changed. I may still be Mary, Mary quite contrary, but my garden thrives, in Him.

Scrapbooking is an art

I am new to the art of digital scrapbooking, started the end of February this year, so have been doing it about 2 months. I have made a whole lof of pages! It truly is a wondrous and wonderful way to spend your time. And the Freebies! Wow! I just love all the freebies! Thank you to all those who post freebies. I don't even know how to do that, yet. I hope to learn though and someday I can share back. I do have Photoshop and that I also need to learn. There is so much to learn, it is overwhelming. I have books and DVD's and online instructions I have saved to PDF's. I don't even know where to start. I'd love to design papers and embellishments. Where does one begin? Well, one thing I do know, "to begin is the first step; to keep on keepin' on is the next step; and to do my best to retain what I take in is maybe the biggest challenge of all".

I spend a lot of time downloading freebies. It feels like Christmas, my birthday, and Mother's Day all rolled into one - every day! Love love love it! I also love the QP's (Quick Pages). I always add embellishments and all that. I find I pretty much like the 'cluttered/busy' look over the simple page. I don't know why, probably because I try to cram it all together and don't want to leave any of these little jewels out. Like my life, I cram it all in, not wanting to leave anything out. Art, all forms of it, should make you happy. Go for it. So, I hope you all give it a try. You can Google scrapbook freebies and get a whole list of where to go. One important note: it takes a lot of computer space, so perhaps you'll want an external hard drive to put it all in. Also, don't forget to back it all up on DVD's regularly so you don't ever lose it. Yep - I gotta do that today, LOL! More work, onward and forward I march...

Artist reception

For the month of April I am the Artist of the Month featured at the Village Gallery of Arts. I consider this to be quite an honor. There is one whole wall that has only my artwork on it, customers can vote for their favorite choice (People's Choice Award), and I have handouts they can take (my art brochure and postcard). Yesterday we held a reception in my honor. I was delighted and I think it turned out nice. I have attended a lot of receptions over the years. Any more I tend to think of them like Tupperware Parties. Once you have seen the product you no longer have the desire to attend the party. You can have oh so much Tupperware after all. In today's world people are busy, in a rush, flitter from here to there and don't have much patience for delay, they want it now, and they want what they want. It's all about fast food, in the fast lane, getting a faster heart rate. There is not much time left for the 'other guy'. There's not much time left to attend a gathering to honor someone else. The more receptions I attend, the less people I see there. It's a sad thing. Why can't we take the time to show our respect to someone else, take the time, it isn't much time, just a little. Just stop by and give a little love. It can't hurt, but it can mean a lot. Thank you so much to all those who attended my reception. It meant so very much to me. The piece in the photo "Follow the Dots" won People's Choice.

Shoot for the Moon

I recently made this scrap-page titled Shoot for the Moon. If you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. That's kind of the way we live life isn't it? We don't like to lose, or to miss. We try to plan our choices so that even if we miss the mark, we at least hit something. We, at least, try to move forward. I am getting older, duh, and in looking at my life I try to continually learn new things. I may not ace them, I may not master them, but in the process I gain from them. Even if I miss I have grown, smarter, wiser, better, more able. It is because I have tried and put out the effort that I have landed among the stars. Of course, I do hope some day to Master Something... unless it's not in the stars for me (pun intended).

Beginning Today...

Beginning today, I will embrace my life. I will accept that within myself there is true beauty. I will salute forgiveness and forgive my faults. Out of utter truth and honesty, I will strive to be open with myself and accept myself as I am. I will not try to be something I am not, or try to be 'like' someone else. I will bury self-doubt and celebrate my optimism. I embrace virtue and integrity. I will turn from discouragement and face each challange that is put before me with a conquering spirit. I will hold tight to an "I can" attitude, but I will falter, and I will try, try again. I will be inspired by obstacles and face them with determination. I treasure genuine laughter and strength of heart. Beginning today, I will smile more, be sillier than I have in awhile, relax more and not worry about what someone else thinks of me. I will like myself, because, after all, I know myself better than any one else. Life goes by too quickly, therefore I shall eat ice cream if I want. I may lay in bed an extra amount of time on a rainy day with the blankets warm and the windows open, and smell the rain. I will take fewer things seriously and will take more chances. I am a child of God. I am His and whatever I face in life, He will walk me through it. I trust, and I surrender all. MY PHOTO: Mary's Blue Rose

My Art Biography

I have been an artist for a few years now. I like to work in a variety of medium including watercolor, oil, acrylic, pastel, graphite, and inks. I regularly teach Drawing Fundamentals, believing that anyone CAN draw if given the proper tools and techniques. I enjoy teaching very much. I often watch my young grandson and wanted to find an artistic and creative outlet that I could do while he is here. We do like to scrapbook together. He does love to paint, but that takes my attention so I am not able to work much on my creations while helping him. I was already doing photography, and discovered that I could be a lot more creative with that...

My work in digital photography developed recently. I have always loved photography but the door opened when I discovered I could manipulate the photos and create abstract and/or ‘digitally drawn’ works. This intrigued me and I have not looked at a photo the same since. I take my photographs and manipulate the images until I find a pattern that I am drawn to repeat, to zoom in, and to mirror until an image is created that satisfies my search for the unique.

Growing up between the rugged Cascade Range and the northernmost tip of the Sierra Nevada Mountains I was surrounded by God’s beauty and bounty. I spent several memorable summers in the renowned artistic community of Mendocino, California. This instilled in me a fantastic love of nature, the mountains and the ocean. Seeing such beauty all around me nurtured a tremendous desire to draw and paint; to put the beauty of the moment on paper or canvas, to capture it. As education in art was not available to me, I studied and created independently, using available materials. For thirty years I put my art aside to raise a family of five children. I invested several years in theatre (my other love), and pursued a career in financial management. With my children now raised and raising families of their own, being blessed with 12 grandchildren, I have returned to art full time and loving every minute of it!

Spring!

I am so ready for spring! We had some beautiful sunshine a couple of days ago, it really gave me an energetic feeling. When the sun shines I play the stereo loud and set to work to make accomplishments! When it rains, which it does alot here in the Pacific Northwest, it seems to drain my energy, I want to eat, to read, to watch a movie. I've already done that all winter - it's time for ACTION! I want to get outdoors and work in the yard and go for photo-walks. But, it is raining today. It is April, but it is supposed to snow over the weekend. Can't believe it!

If I must be inside, then I will just have to scrapbook! I scrapbook so often, that I feel guilty. I love to scrapbook. I love the craft, the art, the glue, the paper, the embellishments, all of it. I LOVE IT! I am Scrap-Crazed. My daughter introduced me to digital scrapping. WOW, is all I can say. I LOVE IT TOO! Have I gone completely mad? My life has become my computer and the chair I sit in in front of it! I forget to eat, except for coffee, can't be without the coffee. Sooo, here I have shared one of my little crafties.

Off and Running

I have been looking for a Blog Spot for some time now. I am thankful my daughter referred me to this site. Now all I need do is learn all the bells and whistles and then I will be off and running. I do love to write and to talk. I hope you visit frequently.